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I feel it
clawing at my skin
digging at my veins
it's everywhere
underneath the fabric of my nails
my skin crawling as its canvas
the teeth gnawing at my legs
I am a sinking ship (by my own destruction)
cast away the life boats
but will always
be stuck out at sea
so lonely but has many friends
so unhappy all I am are scars
numb to affection
except to the feelings that kill me
I am breaking
I'm so sorry Mom Dad Ian myself
     "but you act so happy" he stood with an open mouth, shock risen into his eyes.
     "yeah, act" I whispered. He turned over my leg, inspecting it, cuts racing over the edges, some more recent. He took a hand to covered his shocked expression, and shook his head numbly. He turned and looked me straight into my eyes. His deep blue eyes glistening with tears. I choked back another sob.
     "NEVER, do this again."
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:iconlivingdreamer97:
LivingDreamer97 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very deep.
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:iconquantumless:
quantumless Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for sharing these feelings <3 It really captures what depression is like. Beautiful poem.
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:iconthelionandthefish:
TheLionAndTheFish Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
Wow, this is so good. Very, very strong poem. I love how you used layout as well; how Mom, Dad and Ian are blot out. The stripes remind me of cuts.

I really hope writing about it helps. *cyber hug*
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:iconthe13-5punky:
the13-5punky Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
funny/sad how true this is...
Reply
:iconphotopathica:
Photopathica Featured By Owner May 11, 2013   General Artist
Hi!
We have chosen your work for our Featured Folder for May!
This piece has been featured here: [link]

On behalf of:
:icondeviantsgallery:
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:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much for featuring me!! This means a lot :)
Reply
:iconphotopathica:
Photopathica Featured By Owner May 12, 2013   General Artist
welcome :)
Reply
:iconcosmosalone200:
cosmosalone200 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013
it's beautiful
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconaurron-darkness-king:
Aurron-Darkness-king Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Student General Artist
Constant depression is somethin I've delt with for six years now, so don't feel bad. It's a step in life, and it can help you understand things that you could never understand before. Depression doesn't lead to bad things, but it can complicate things in life.
However this is a great peice of art.
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
stay strong, thank you so much, this means a lot :)
Reply
:iconaurron-darkness-king:
Aurron-Darkness-king Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student General Artist
you're welcom. i have friends that keep me going. everybody needs help.
Reply
:iconshadowfelix:
ShadowFelix Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
some one needs Jesus.
Reply
:iconpetethegrouch:
PeteTheGrouch Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013
Depression is like a beast that feeds on people's souls.. Once it gets it's claws into you, it will never let you go.
You can fight it, to some degree.. But it's a battle with no hope of ultimate victory, against an enemy that is invisible, intangible, & utterly relentless in it's goal to destroy all that you are. The best you can hope for is to keep it at bay...
To anyone who reads this who has never suffered the misfortune of depression; pray you never do.
To those who have; my deepest sympathies, for what it's worth..:smoking:
Keep fighting.
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
You described it so well, thank you so much for the support, I really appreciate it :)
Reply
:iconconvictionbylarm:
ConvictionbyLarm Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Student General Artist
you've to be really brave to write about your Depression,
and I hope writing is a kind of good way for you to deal with it…
your piece touchs souls
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
It helps me express, and thank you so much :)
Reply
:iconkienamaru:
Kienamaru Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This isn't bad, it's a little strange to read but I can relate to the feelings... Though my depression was brought on from a different cause. Don't give up hope. You can always better yourself, and whatever is bothering you, you were born with the capacity to overcome it. You just have to believe... and try. It sucks to know that so many attractive people are depressed and harming themselves, or going through so much...
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much for the support, you made my day :) and thank you so much :)
Reply
:iconk1ttykat91:
k1ttykat91 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this, I get on/off depression, so much to the point where "I'm used to it." This poem really describes what it's like. I've been doing much better though than I used to be ^^
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:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
I'm happy for you :) writing about it has really helped me, keep being strong :)
Reply
:iconk1ttykat91:
k1ttykat91 Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Writing helps me a lot too, thanks, stay strong as well :hug:
Reply
:iconalphawolfflamewolf:
AlphaWolfFlameWolf Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student General Artist
I can relate to this poem a lot since I have very bad depression issues dealing with bullying and my dads death. Its like depression strangles and claws at you until you break. To me people are like glass dolls that can be easily broken and if the doll is dropped it becomes broken mentally and physically.
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
It is so hard to pick up the pieces too, I am so sorry about your loss, keep hanging in there!!
Reply
:iconalphawolfflamewolf:
AlphaWolfFlameWolf Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Student General Artist
It is hard, and thanks and back at ya! ^^
Reply
:iconvalkaneer:
Valkaneer Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Professional Writer
Allow this pale reverse transliteration in answer to build you back out of this stupor.

Forgiveness is not needed from the unconcerned, require it not.
So shatter, crumble and regard it a happy lesson, but be broken only so you might repair.
Disconnect from destructive falseness, upend those notions that would have you fail.
Scars remind us where we have been, who we are, they define us, there is pride in them.
Friends can be as fake as the illusion of snow covering a deep crevasse, don't fall in blindly.
Drown and forget the past rhetoric that has you so jaded. Oceans of sorrow can dry with time.
Attack something other than yourself. Love yourself and punish any and all who do you harm.
Make them to know your new strength is born within the self. Hasten to make them regret.
Take no action upon you, but deal forcefully with those who hurt and enjoy it.
This thing is in your head, don't let the enemy win by neglectful agreement.
Do a little fighting and lick your own wounds. Nothing is more natural, sister....
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
Oh my god, come over here for a hug :) I'm going to carry this poem around, thank you so much :)
Reply
:iconvalkaneer:
Valkaneer Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Professional Writer
:tighthug:

I hope you got a boost of defiant resole, my dear. ;)
Reply
:icongummibwear:
GummiBwear Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
I'm happy to see you writing again, and this piece is so impactful, thank you for sharing your story.
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student Writer
thank you so much :)
Reply
:iconmonsterintheshadows:
Monsterintheshadows Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
This is a really emotional piece
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:iconalwasebeautiful39:
alwasebeautiful39 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I understand completely. Please be open to the realization that one day you will be able to fight it. One day you will be strong enough to fight for yourself! I look forward to the day where you can <3
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:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much, that meant a lot to me <3
Reply
:iconfabnormal:
Fabnormal Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I am so scared of what my friend's reaction will be if he finds out about my scars.....
This is a beautiful piece by the way <3
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much, and it is terrifying, my brother found out one day, but because of it he helps me to be stronger. <3
Reply
:iconfabnormal:
Fabnormal Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know... I mean he found out about my depression and suicidal urges already... I guess it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to think I'd cut up my legs...

And you are so beautiful! You're so pretty and your hair and everything! I wish I was pretty like you...
Reply
:iconbathroomstallstories:
BathroomStallStories Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so sorry :( AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER WHAT <3
Reply
:iconfabnormal:
Fabnormal Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
HAa~
I wish~
Reply
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